You saw me the first time and from then decided you don’t want me. Just one look and you have nothing to do with me. Not in your life, not in your mind. Not now, not ever. You already resolved in your head that I do not belong. That I did not pass your standards. You saw me as an ugly person not worth your while. But why is it every time you see me, on the streets, on whatever place it is, you make me feel less of a person?
It gives you satisfaction to hurt me. Hurt me physically and emotionally. Even though I’m not a part of your life and you’re not a part of mine, it still hurts the same way as if we’ve known each other all along. You will not stop even if I tell you to. You will only stop in your own time. Not until you have my blood in your hands. Not until you made me feel inferior and afraid. Not until you have my face kissing the ground. You want this. I know you do. That surge of power going through your veins once I’m already begging. It’s an endless cycle. You see me. You hurt me. I fall down. I beg you. Every. Single. Time. But NOT TODAY.
Today, I will think of myself as worthy.
Today, I will pick myself up from the ground and regain my balance. Today, I will clench my fist until I feel that same amount of power that you have every time I fall. Today, I will think of myself as worthy. Worthy to be your opponent. Worthy to be your equal. Worthy of your respect. I don’t want to live this kind of life anymore. I want to be strong for myself. I deserve it. I owe it to the people I love and cares for me.
Today, you will not treat me less of a person because you don’t like me. I will let you know it, in my own way. Different from who you are. Different from what you are. I will not be like your rotten personality. I will stand tall and proud because I am my own person. You will not bring me down with your wicked ways starting today. I will be the person that I want to be and meant to be. Not worrying about you. Not conforming to your standards or any standards for that matter. Today, I am Me.